Pain...and Progress.

Are these two ever mutually exclusive?

I think they could be but obviously not yet for me in terms of my TCM career!

Today the needling technique we did was REALLY painful in the hands of amateurs. I didn't escape a slight haematoma on my right leg...with all my colourful bumps and bruises I'm really not a good advertisement for guinea pig acupuncturism!

The other theme today's classes brought up for me is Who can you trust? and made me think about the "optimal practitioner"...Because today the conscientious but anxious novice gave me a lot of pain and haematoma.

Two weeks ago it was the brash overconfident novice who gave me pain and haematoma.

And then I realised, the only novice I trust to acupuncture is someone in the middle like myself. Because we are cautious and restrained enough to not be too hasty and careless, compassionate enough to listen to and monitor the patient and not comfortable causing pain/discomfort but also confident enough in our own ability to not get jingly nerves and stuff up out of fear and anxiety.

So I was kinda pleased about that...also that I did my first FIRE NEEDLE - tungsten lit red hot-into the muscle- and didn't stuff up!

Typically on the first go, the average novice freaks out lets go of the needle and it stays in the skin sizzling...

In any case I think because I had been in so much pain prior, my body was totally saturated in adrenalin from the cold sweat I had worked up so I was totally alert and focused on the task at hand...but now...totally exhausted...Ready for BED! Sleeeeeeeep :-)

9.17pm 27 march 2009

*Starstruck*

In some fortuitous stroke of Luck I managed to score a one on one consult with one of the foremost scholars in my area IN THE WORLD.

So Exciting!!!

You know how there are some people you meet and they make such an impression?

I am truly inspired and Thank God cos this Studying Gig is not that easy for someone of my undisciplined, easily worn out and lazy, always want to "have fun" nature to pull off!

saturday 21 march 7:28pm

The "Amateur" Practitioner

Today my guinea pig, ahem...patient...said to me after I had needled her:

"I can't feel anything, is the needle in yet?"

...Is that testimony to Skill...or Skill? haha ;)

LOL, I think I should use this anecdote to spruik my services for the future cos I realise I am a horrible social networker and with all of the few people I know left in Sydney, all refuse to stray from the medical "establishment"...so I was getting some anxiety about how I am going to get my patient quota next year without the help of random strangers walking in off the street and hopefully coming back!

So many people wrongly fear acupuncture cos they are "scared of needles" but really...it doesn't need to HURT! And typically, people only fear what they don't understand.

In any case the year has gotten off to a flying start with it's usual fair share of dramas... but it does seem a tad more 'manageable' than the horror that last year was.

One of the things that plagued me a little in the first week was being Daunted by Fear at the huge task ahead of me... The extent of my goal includes moving away to some rural/scenic community where I know nobody and opening up shop. At first this was going to be after some internship with a mentor but after being HIT HARD by the financial crisis, there is a little pressure to open up shop and start practising to earn money ASAP.

So yeah good incentive I guess to stay motivated, study hard and try and learn and hone my skills as much as possible in the next two years which I know will fly by with how busy it gets. Apart from that I've decided to try and "brave" a trip to the Motherland of TCM...China...Beijing to be precise. Despite being shit scared about my Lungs and Delicate constitution in general and how I will fare with the pollution, dirt and greasy food there, I think it's important for my professional development to get some clinical experience in the target environment. So yeah...also needing to produce some cash to try and get there since unfortunately not like Singapore who give their top students $20 000 help, there is no such thing as financial scholarships even if you have an HD average :p

Besides that I also managed to attend a great seminar on treating psycho-emotional disorders where the speaker was absolutely a kindred spirit in terms of values and approach to life(and even was part of a hippie commune in his 20s LOL!) I met more senior students and fresh graduates which was really good opportunity to get a better idea of what my future is likely to look like. The funniest part was that there is a perception that I am more advanced than I am which was quite flattering...even one of my teachers asked me two years in a row..."how come you're still here...haven't you graduated yet? Oh sorry...I always thought you were in final year!"

Haha...nice to have fake credibility...LOL

Apart from that, what else...we have a "real" medicine subject with a "real" doctor which is kinda interesting...if anything though everytime, it just reminds me how glad I am that I am in TCM rather than succumb to the pressure of studying (western) "medicine" which all typical education, status and wealth obsessed Asian parents aspire for their kids.

In any case we had to do a basic physical health check up using those "ear things" and "eye things" etc...although it was pretty cool looking at ear drums and optic nerves I really didn't appreciate how close you need to get which means that the patient ends up breathing all over you! Ewww....GERMS! LOL...No wonder I love herbal practice best...nobody has to invade my personal bubble and the touchiest feeliest it ever gets is feeling pulses across a table. Also, I can't help but feel like some kind of *Magical Alchemist* mixing up "magical potions" amidst a room filled with faraway scents and bottles filled with exotic substances such as dried scorpions...Dabbling in Herbs...wow, what a turn on! LOL

And it is so much more convenient to "self-medicate" than to try and needle oneself which definitely tests even the most coordinated persons at the best of times!!

friday 6 march 2009 6:34pm

About This Blog...

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share the thrills (and hopefully no spills) of a mature age student back to school to become a practitioner of Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM).